I finally have some good news to share... and I finally feel like the adoption is FINALLY moving forward (It only took a year!)
Recently we have been more and more frustrated with DCF. I'll spare the details, but, we've had to stick up for ourselves and what the kids need. We aren't letting them walk all over us anymore. They didn't really like that. They decided we needed a meeting because "we're not on the same page". Translation? "No, no, no, you're not bending over backwards anymore... let me tell you how this really works". They decided to give a weeks notice, and make the meeting for the middle of the day. They told us we both had to be there. We went back and forth several times. They didn't seem to care at all that I JUST started a new job last week. (I promise this is a "happy" post). We finally "compromised" that I would leave work at 2 today and take the horrible meeting as a conference call, but Steve had to be there... no question about that. When the meeting came, one of the supervisors didn't even come, they conferenced in! They started the meeting with Steve, and never once asked to bring my into the conversation. Steve let them keep going because he knew I didn't want to have any part of the conversation. So, there it was, I had left work at 2, for no reason, with a brand new job! I was sitting at Target waiting for them to call... making my grocery list. I finally just went in and did the shopping anyways. Needless to say, I was very angry that they forced me to leave work early, for no reason.
Anyways, let me get to the happy news... K? The visits have been reduced!!!! This has been one of the hardest parts of the last year. Every single week there is that reminder that this isn't finished, this reminder for the kids of what they used to have. Jackson has accidents for a day or two after the visit, and Nikki is so manic when she gets home that we can't get her to sit still. We have been waiting for this day a LONG time... this "once a week" stuff isn't helping anyone. Today we were told that they are going to be biweekly, and late fall/early winter they will go down to monthly!! It is very very good news to us.
Also, they are starting to fall apart. The birth mom and birth dad have separated, and Dad realizes that he isn't going to win. He is in the process of giving up his rights completely on his own because he realizes he can't do it. I'm happy about it, but not at the same time. I thought I would be so glad for them to fall apart, so glad that they're losing the kids. But, I find it weird, I'm actually sad for them. I'm not saying this to come off as super amazing, but, I feel sorry for them. I feel empathy, not gloating or joy. I am happy that things are really falling into place for us. I'm really not worried at all that the kids won't be with us forever. It's good news for us, and for the kids... but I can't help feel sad for them because I know deep down they love the kids, but they just can't take care of them the way they need to.
All that being said, there is still a LONG time to go, an LONG time to be patient. Pre-trial is set for February, and trial is for a few days in March and a few days in April. We would still love your prayers and support.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
A whole year!
I have been a mom for a whole year. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday, in other ways, it feels like I've always been their mom! Last Sunday we celebrated a year with having Nikki in our family, and this Sunday, we will celebrate a year with Jackson and Alli. So, since it's been a whole year, (and almost 5 months since I blogged) I think it's time for some updates.
Nikki- Nikki had a hard summer. The schedule and routine was a bit much for her. While bedtime continued to get better (on the whole), she was still having 2-3 tantrums a day. In the Spring she was having 2-3 a week... but I think the routine just made things that much harder for her. The nice thing to see, however, was that they were much shorter lived then they used to be, and sometimes we could stop the melt down before it happened. She has only been in school for 2 days, but they have been good days. She LOVES her teachers and her school, and I am so thankful for that.
She is also staying dry overnight now. Give it a few more days, and I just might be brave enough to do "unders" overnight! (maybe :-))
Jackson- Jackson is using his words to communicate now. While he still reverts to whining and melting down, he is doing it less. He is starting to realize that words can get him something, and that is a blessing. He will start preschool the end of October (when he turns 3), and I can't wait for him to get even more help
He is also pretty-much pee trained! He got it in a week too, which I thought was impressive given his delays. The only time he has accidents is after his parent visits. We are still waiting for him to grasp "# 2"... stay tuned ...
Alli- Oh my, Alli! She is a spit-fire! She has been climbing forever. Now she moves furniture to help her get up on everything, and even over gates! She is walking everywhere, and loves her new found sense of freedom.
She is also talking up a storm. Her favorite words are Alli, Jackson, No, up/down, thank you, and hi. She also says cat, dog, stuck, more, oops, and wow. On top of that, she also repeats just about everything that is said. She is so bright. She watches everything that is going on, and is learning all the time from the things around her.
All five of us had a good summer. We had a chance to spend sometime with family in New York and Maine... which is always fun. The kids got to go to Bustin's Island, and they LOVED the crabs. They also got to go on "big boats", kayaks, a pony, and do many more "summer" things.
Even though we enjoyed the summer, I think most of me is ready for the routine and cooler temperatures of the Fall.
Nikki- Nikki had a hard summer. The schedule and routine was a bit much for her. While bedtime continued to get better (on the whole), she was still having 2-3 tantrums a day. In the Spring she was having 2-3 a week... but I think the routine just made things that much harder for her. The nice thing to see, however, was that they were much shorter lived then they used to be, and sometimes we could stop the melt down before it happened. She has only been in school for 2 days, but they have been good days. She LOVES her teachers and her school, and I am so thankful for that.
She is also staying dry overnight now. Give it a few more days, and I just might be brave enough to do "unders" overnight! (maybe :-))
Jackson- Jackson is using his words to communicate now. While he still reverts to whining and melting down, he is doing it less. He is starting to realize that words can get him something, and that is a blessing. He will start preschool the end of October (when he turns 3), and I can't wait for him to get even more help
He is also pretty-much pee trained! He got it in a week too, which I thought was impressive given his delays. The only time he has accidents is after his parent visits. We are still waiting for him to grasp "# 2"... stay tuned ...
Alli- Oh my, Alli! She is a spit-fire! She has been climbing forever. Now she moves furniture to help her get up on everything, and even over gates! She is walking everywhere, and loves her new found sense of freedom.
She is also talking up a storm. Her favorite words are Alli, Jackson, No, up/down, thank you, and hi. She also says cat, dog, stuck, more, oops, and wow. On top of that, she also repeats just about everything that is said. She is so bright. She watches everything that is going on, and is learning all the time from the things around her.
All five of us had a good summer. We had a chance to spend sometime with family in New York and Maine... which is always fun. The kids got to go to Bustin's Island, and they LOVED the crabs. They also got to go on "big boats", kayaks, a pony, and do many more "summer" things.
Even though we enjoyed the summer, I think most of me is ready for the routine and cooler temperatures of the Fall.
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